I realize I normally talk about computer skills but today I want to discuss something I’ve been thinking about for some time. My team recently had two open roles which meant as a manager I went through two months of interviewing one after the other. Some candidates where great and I hired them. Some were amazing and I wish I could have hired them, but their skill set just wasn’t quite as good a match. And others… they are stories I will tell at parties. For instance, about ten years ago I interviewed a man who cried during the entire interview begging me to hire him while he told me how he’s a perfect fit. Spoiler: I did not hire him. Crying during the interview showed me that he did not fair well under stressful situations. It was for a high volume, high stress role. I realized during this interview process though that many of the candidates did not understand the subtext of the questions. No one ever explained to me what common interview questions really mean so let’s here and now agree to not continue that legacy. Here are five common interview questions, and what the manager is really asking.

Tell me about a time when…

You struggled to get along with a co-worker or dealt with a difficult situation/person/failure at work. Don’t be vague. Have a story in your back pocket because you will blank on this one. The manager is trying to discern if you have any grit, people skills, and problem-solving skills. How have you overcome adversity in your life. If you answer is, “I get along with everyone,” or “I can’t think of any conflicts I’ve ever had,” or the one I really hate, “communication solves everything.” That last one maybe true but you haven’t detailed how you communicate or adjust your communication. Those answers tell me that you either have extremely limited life experience, no people skills, no self-awareness, or all of the above. Who wants to work with that person? At some point in your life there was someone you had to work with that you didn’t like or made it clear they didn’t like you. Tell me that story. Make yourself the hero of that tale.

Tell me why you’re a good fit for this role

This sounds like I’m saying, “After likely reading and applying to fifty different roles in one night, repeat the job description back to me for this role. Also, I’ve removed the posting so you can’t go back and look.” Alright, there are some managers who do want that, and I have unkind words for those people. This is a stupid question because it relies on you to make assumptions and also you wouldn’t have applied if you didn’t think it would be good for you. I digress.

The night before your interview, go to the company website and find their blog. If they don’t have a blog, then use Google to search for news articles on the company. If it’s too small for Google, search LinkedIn. Find a conversation piece. Start by talking about your background and any key skills you think you’re best at (throw in some jargon if you got any), but then mention the blog or article. Why? It shows investment in the role. It shows a person who can work independently. It says, I’m a go-getter. Tie that article either into a story about your background or shoot a question back at the interviewer asking them for more detail. That last one also takes them off their guard which you want because you want to see the manager for who they are. Remember an interview is two-sided. They need to be good enough for you.

What is your greatest weakness?

Shoot me if I ever ask this question. It’s a terrible question. We all know to respond with a positive. “I’m just a workaholic” hasn’t been an acceptable answer since the 90s, and even then, it was questionable. I am, in fact, a workaholic. It nearly ruined my life. I had to take career steps backward in order to learn boundaries which I did not have for the first thirty years of my career. I’m saying, I wasn’t lying when I used that answer, but the people who found that acceptable are terrible humans. If you are in fact a workaholic don’t say that. You wouldn’t say in an interview my greatest weakness is my raging cocaine addiction. Well maybe one of my exes would but like them you should get therapy if this is true. Set boundaries. Do the self-work like any other addict who wants to live. Again, I digress.

The subtext here is to show me some self-awareness. Anytime you’re asked a question with a negative connotation, they’re looking for grit and self-awareness. Show the hiring manager how you take responsibility for your actions, how you don’t blame others, and how you handle feedback. If you give me a story with a specific example that is so much better. The more often you can cite a specific example in response to any question the better. Vagueness puts me to sleep.

For example, you sometimes are so focused on the overall goal so much that you miss detail such as this one time when you missed the fact that an important deadline that was looming, and then detail the action steps you did to ensure the deadline was not missed. Maybe your grammar could use some work, and it led to insert mildly embarrassing story, but then you downloaded Grammarly. Now all your communications are amazeballs.

You took responsibility, you enacted a resolution, you won the day, then you went back and worked on your weakness. Maybe you’re still working on it, but this is how you’re doing the thing for self-improvement. OMG you sound like an amazing person.

How do you keep yourself organized?

This goes for any question about organization or keeping team members focused on goal, if you’re on a video call and the hiring manager can see a mess behind you, dirty laundry piled up (true story), or sheer chaos in your background, no one will believe you are organized. Your cat is not chaos unless it’s murdering/torturing something on screen.

You may well be that person who is always together at work but a mess at home — I know these people, but for the interview those images don’t jive.

Also, don’t tell me you’re a person who makes lists, and then hold up a pad of paper. Maybe you are and that works for you, but my brain translates that to say, “I create clutter while also not communicating.” That list you’re so proud of is just for you. If you’re out sick who has access to that list especially in a remote situation?

That’s key to your answer, who has access to your organizational technique? I’m not asking how you store things. I’m asking how you keep yourself on task, how you communicate where you are on task with teammates, and how you handle chaos under a heavy workload. If you have a story about how well your technique works for other even better.

Do you have any questions for me?

Ask me something! Don’t just shrug. That says no investment which says a worker who doesn’t care. And maybe you don’t. One of the best workers I’ve ever had on a team had no personal investment in the company. As long as his paycheck kept coming, he did not care what the company or team did. He did his work quickly and efficiently; he only spoke up when directly asked to speak. He was the most consistent and reliable employee but utterly tuned out in meetings. Maybe that’s you at work. Don’t be that person in the interview.

I’m not saying be bubbly or different person. I’m saying show interest. If you’ve been on a date or seen one on TV, you know the person looking at their cellphone the entire time or not paying attention to the lead will not be on a second date. Don’t be a day player in your own life.

Ask about my management style. Ask about what I’m specifically looking for in a candidate, then after I’ve answered renumerate some of the skills we’ve discussed. Ask about the current team dynamic, ERGs, expectations on hours, or something you want to know about that I haven’t listed here. Ask yourself what boundaries you need at work and then ask if those boundaries are acceptable but like in a positive way. Have a question to ask at the ready or mention that you’ve asked a number of questions throughout, and gee golly gosh we covered a lot of ground.

If you were asked a question in a recent job interview and have any self-doubt or anxiety about how you answered, shoot that question over to me. I’ll tell you what the goal of the question really was and help you craft your answer for next time. Good luck. It’s rough out there.